I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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