Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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