Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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