i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
