is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Randomize
