i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
