OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She's the barista slut.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize