Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize