Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
