She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
