a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We are two peas in an std pod
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
