I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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