I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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