You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
