Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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