so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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