I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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