You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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