Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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