I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
