then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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