Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
