she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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