Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
