its not stalking. its research.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
