We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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