mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
