Whoa Z and x make the same sound
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
