things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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