Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
