Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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