im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
