I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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