pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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