I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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