I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
