y did u give ur computer a hand job?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
