ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
