i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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