I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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