she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
