dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just high enough for therapy.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
