O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Let's get the cat blown out
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
