it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
