i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
