Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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