lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
