clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
