Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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