You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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