She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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