Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
