Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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