I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
