dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i will never coherently bang her
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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