Cold hands, warm shart.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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