she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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