Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
