Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
