belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
