You work out of a Hotel?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
