So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
