Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
