lets start a swedish sibling band together
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
