Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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