I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
