White coat. Heels.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
